Online dating search criteria
Even better, minorities and people with specified, niche interests will always be able to find what they are interested in.With gay dating apps such as Grindr, gay people outside of big cities can meet others without having to spend years working up the courage to express their sexuality in a heterosexual environment. Tinder, for example, is the most-used dating app on earth, and allows you to find people for casual relationships easily. com and Ok Cupid are great for seeking out commitment, and if you’re into bacon, Sizzl will connect you with other bacon lovers.However, it also makes it easier for us to close ourselves entirely to the potential of ‘non-ideal’ candidates, some of whom may like hats and smoked bacon but be great anyway.Depending on what you’re looking for online, this can be problematic because, interestingly, we are terrible at knowing what we actually want, and should really have a lot less faith in our criteria.
Even though dating apps have a propensity to dehumanise potential suitors, they are a highly convenient way of streamlining possible partners according to our favoured criteria (such as bacon), cutting out time-wasters and minimising the achingly cringe-inducing encounters that we’ve all experienced on terrible first dates. They allow us to mercilessly and immediately dismiss people who don’t meet our subjective criteria, while eliminating the face-to-face element of initial contact. I know he fosters puppies and feeds the homeless in his free time, but I just don’t like hat guys.” This distance can be comforting because it buffers rejection on both sides and allows us to ‘put ourselves out there’ without feeling compromised.
A Columbia University study conducted an experiment with speed dating where straight men and women were placed in each other’s company for a few minutes and surveyed four times throughout the process – from beforehand to six months after the speed dating.
They were asked to rate potential partners based on six different criteria, and the results showed consistently that what we say we want in a partner has no correlation with what we will actually opt for in the moment.
We’ve moved on from discomfort or embarrassment about using technology to connect with other people.
There’s a whole generation of millennials who use dating apps as a matter of course, and it makes sense that we think a bigger pool increases the likelihood of finding someone we’re actually compatible with.
Where the endless choice becomes complicated is trying to form a traditionally monogamous heterosexual relationship (where bacon isn’t necessarily a central focus).